I had a wonderful lunch with one of my favorite co-workers/friends who unfortunately works remotely, so we don’t spend as much time together as I’d like. I will say when we do get to hang out, it is always refreshing and inspiring. This was her first time meeting baby W, so we obviously talked about my favorite topic du jour – motherhood.
We covered all the basics: How was labor & delivery (straight out of CSI), how is being a mom (I’ve taken to it surprisingly well…you never know…), does he sleep (I am the luckiest mom ever – W sleeps like a dream), breastfeeding vs. formula (4 weeks au naturel and then we went the formula route – sleeping improved greatly), do you shower (yes every day, just roll him into the bathroom in his bassinet), yoga pants vs. real clothes (I’m still me, so I dress up, wear make up and do my hair).
And after all the basics we got down to the heart of it. Maybe I’m just incredibly lucky or maybe there is something to how you approach life. What you put out into the universe, is projected back. I’ve always tried to be relaxed about life, minimize the drama and anxiety. When I planned our wedding, my goal was to be the “Anti Bridezilla.” I ate at my wedding, drank, danced and made it to the photo booth more than once. During my pregnancy, I tried to keep it “business as usual.” I traveled and took my baby bump from NY Fashion Week to the NYC Wine and Food Fest to countless meetings and presentations and my brain and creativity still functioned. I may have moved a bit slower and weighed A LOT more, but at the end of the day, I was still me.
So now that I am responsible for a tiny human, I am trying to instill that same drama free and calm existence to my baby and his upbringing. I know we have no control over what kind of baby we get (colic, sleepless nights, fussiness), but I do believe that what we project and the attitude we take makes a difference. I have tried to stay calm, even when I’m not sure how to approach the situation. I talk to W like he understands me and have introduced him to our way of life. He naps and sleeps in a bustling house with the tv on and the dishwasher and washer going. We take him out to dinner with us and surround him with the people we love. He has joined our family, not taken us hostage. I want my son to grow up knowing that each of his parents is a whole person with a lot of layers. We are people and we’re also his parent.
Is it scary being a new mom and responsible for a life? YES! When you leave the hospital there is no manual. You spend two days surrounded by nurses and help and then you and your husband place this tiny baby in a carrier and drive home. The rest is up to you…and that is scary. But like everything else, you figure it out. Every day you get better and more confident — the diapers aren’t as daunting, you start interpreting each cry and their subtleties and then around 2 months you see a real, genuine smile and that is everything. I know this is only the beginning, but a great one it’s been so far.
This life-long parenthood journey is equally exciting as it is terrifying, but as in all things in life, I’m approaching it with a cool, calm and collected attitude, even if half the time I’m “faking it, til I make it.” 😉
XoXo,
Ivette
Ivette Faulkner 